i'm a commitment-phobe
07/11/04 07:14 AM
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jenX
Reged: 08/11/03
Posts: 3252
Loc: Richmond, VA
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yes, i'm one of the few girls who will totally admit to being a commitment-phobe. i am not sure exactly where that comes from, though i have my suspicions.
i have had only a few long-term boyfriends and most of those were terribly dysfunctional relationships (because i pick the "wrong" kinda guy). i had a lot to work out in myself in the past, so apparently kept choosing the same life lessons over and over! 
in the past, if i dated a really nice guy that would have been a good match for me i would panic and dump him.
i'm totally different now, but still terribly picky when it comes to men. i am trying really hard not to fall into the same patterns, so it makes me overly-choosey with men (though, that's just a defense mechanism, too!).
i'd like to meet the right guy and i know i can settle down when i do, but i'm not going to settle for someone who i know isn't right for me. i don't think it's fair to anyone to date someone seriously just because you want company and companionship. if i can't open up to them, then i'm wasting their time.
in my defense, i am terribly loyal (i have never ever cheated on a guy) and in fact was in love with the same man from 19 through 'til just recently. we were just friends and in fact never saw one another, but i think that had a lot to do with why i didn't commit to anyone else for long time. it's not fair to commit to someone when you have feelings about someone else, right?
anyway, enough rambling. thought maybe that might give you just a little insight into the mind of a commitment-phobe.
*j
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