Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Re: Knitting and Meditation

Hi Bevvy,
You are totally right -- the stress and excitment are definitely contributing to my little relapse here. I was fairly stable before, stable enough to cheat just a tiny bit and be fine. I do need to sit down and get knitting, and I think I'll do that tonight. As far as meditating, I usually tend to get a lot of that in the form of praying, so it's weird for me to not be going to church regularly here. Matt and I keep making noise about going, but Sunday morning rolls around and we never make it.
Anyway, overall I do just need to relax. It's tough though, when I am trying to have lunch and dinner with all these new people I've met. I don't want to be the one to say, "I can't eat here," but I have done so the one time that there was absolutely nothing I could eat (That sandwich place Pret has not one safe food item. Even their soups have cream). All the other times, I just go along, and figure I can hopefully find something suitable, or pick off the cheese or something, and eat a couple Equalactin (yes I brought plenty). It's just stressful. Plus I've ALWAYS (even pre-ibs), had some kind of paranoia about eating in front of people I don't really know. It's just some kind of bizarre neurotic thing, and I know my mom used to be the same way. Anyway it's that much more stressful when I have to make substitutions and changes to the menu. Whatever though, I'm a big girl and I can deal with it. I've only had to miss one social event, when I was in too much pain on Monday to stand and mingle at a tea / reception, so I guess it's not too bad right now. I did have these awful conversations in my head on Monday though. First, I would think, this sucks! this isn't fair! this hurts too much! And then I would say, well you had things last night that you shouldn't have had, so you deserve it. And then the other side would say, that's not fair! I don't deserve to feel like this, no matter what I ate. But the guilty-feeling side usually wins, because to some extent I do know how to avoid attacks and I shouldn't break the rules.
Geeze Bev, I should be paying your for therapy.

I'm feeling pretty anti-social right now, just hanging out in my room. I know I should call one of my new friends, or even just wander over to the common room, but I really just need a day off from people. I think that's normal.
Matt's stupid work thing is bugging me too. I haven't heard from him yet today, and now I'm playing the stupid game where I don't call him because I want to see if he'll actually go the whole day without calling me. Am I in 5th grade? Yes.

Thans for all the love!
Panda

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Amanda

I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin

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