Whaaaa -- I need some Living Room love
05/31/04 03:45 PM
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Hi everyone, Sorry I've been absent the last few days. I am so stressed out! I am getting my apartment ready for my subletter to come on Wednesday. My mom came here on Friday and we cleaned and organized all day, so it's mostly in good shape. Then I went home for a few days, with my brother and his pregnant wife. She was super touchy the whole weekend, but I guess that is pretty normal. My brother was fine until the drive back to the city. The whole way, my SIL was sleeping in the back seat, and he was just reaming me out about anythind and everything. We never fight, so I am really just not used to it. He just kept on picking picking picking at everything. When he dropped me at the train (he lives just outside the city) I got out of the car without even saying bye. Now I'm annoyed at him and at myself. I managed to get home before I started crying, thankfully. Anyway of course now my tummy is killing me. And then there is the other thing ... I have a sigmoidoscopy tomorrow morning and I am absolutely dreading it. I'm happy I managed to stay relatively stable at my parents' house, even with a couple of cheats, but now I'm in so much pain and I know it's just stress. All I want to do is call my bf and cry to him, but of course he lives in stupid London and is already asleep. Ughhhh. I am leaving on Thursday for a summer camp reunion, which should be lots of fun, but I am slightly freaking out becasue it involves an 8-hour drive (I'll be a passenger), and staying in cabins with a bunch of other people. No bathroom privacy. Plus, cafeteria-stlye meals means I'm going to be pretty limited in my options. Saturday night there is a big banquet, but I'm not even really looking forward to that because I'm sure my food options will be even more limited. At least my boyfriend will be there (yes, we met at summer camp, and yes, I know exactly how cheesy that is), and he always makes me feel better. I'm just nervous about that too because we've been fighting a lot lately, just stupid long-distance frustration stuff, and I feel like there is a lot of pressure on this weekend. Then, we are both going up to visit his parents in Cape Cod. That should be very relaxing, so I'm not too nervous about that. His family is great and with a house on the water, everything always seems calm. After the cape, I'm going home to my parents' house for a week, and then I leave for London on June 20. I've been trying to get an earlier flight, but there are so many stupid restrictons on frequent flier miles, so I am basically stuck. I just have to keep calling every day. Maybe I'm freaking out over nothing, but it just seems like when it rains, it pours! Oh plus, normally in these situations I'd call my best friend, but she just stupidly got back together with a guy who makes her miserable, so I really cant' stomach a conversation right now. Whhhhaaaaa. I guess I just wanted to whine to some sympathetic people. Usually when I'm stressed I do a million different things and make a huge mess of my apartment, but now I have to be all neat and careful to get ready for the subletter. Does anyone have any good relaxation techniques, other than eating and crying into my pillow? I hate when I feel like this -- constantly on the brink of tears when nothing tragic has happened. I feel like such a freak. Oh AND I just finished a fantastic book, which is normally a good thing but now I'm depressed and I miss the characters. I guess I should just jump into another book, but somehow it feels like a relationship is over and I'm not ready to give myself to the next one. Am I totally nuts, or what? Don't answer that. Hmmm .... maybe I should make ADB's. My mom and I finally got my oven working (It's been broken for the entire 9 months I've lived here). Anyway really I'm just looking for some living room love, so bring it on, please!!!
-------------------- Amanda
I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin
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