Sad, confusing, gothic and stressful.
My boyfriend has been estranged from his mom for 13+ years. He got an email from his sister, who secretly keeps in touch with BF through his dad. The email said his mom was in the late stages of ovarian cancer. He broke down unexpectedly at work, his boss came in, and sent him home.
This is awful stress. He tells me he wants some sort of closure, but his mother was an alcoholic and violent abuser. I say, no closure, let her die, but he is curious and wants to know more about her actual situation. She manipulated her family and kept them apart through her absolute control and her own brand of mental illness. She is a sociopath, and sabotaged her son's life at every turn. I only witnessed a bit of it, but what I saw was horrifying. What I heard from everyone else was worse.
BF left when was 20 and never looked back. In fact he went directly from her to me, so she doesn't have any love lost for yours truly either.
I have never met a more despicable person in my life. I wouldn't be surprised if this was a ruse to shake the family tree. BF's sister has to put medical school in Singapore on hold to fly back to assess her situation so she can tell the rest of the family. BF's dad is in Afghanistan. We are local. And that's everybody. So time will tell what will happen and how involved we'll be.
My personal father is dying at the moment too. I've been estranged from him for 26 years since he abandoned our family. So there's a lot of stress flying around, and a lot of tears and hugs at our place lately.
Just wanted to talk about it. BF and I are very inward-facing people when it comes to stress and our families. We just rely on each other, just ourselves, for help and comfort.
But we've been getting 3 hours of sleep a night lately. I've got hives from anxiety on my chest and all over my back for the last 2 days, since a traumatic 2-hour dental appointment broke my camel's back. Money is tight to the cent. And if BF has to plan a funeral, he's going to break.
Unbelievably, my tummy's doing OK! BF's is out though. Maybe it's jumped from me to him?? It'll jump back, I know. Thanks for listening. Insight, hugs or witty diversions solicited and appreciated!
~nelly~
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