Lisa, What you said about not telling actually makes sense, even though I usually try not to hide a thing from my wife. In this case, I always feel as if I'm acting out some childhood drama - seeing if she'll accept and comfort me when I'm feeling panicked and somewhat helpless. It never feels healthy, and its never satisfying either (!) because she doesn't get it, and even when she tries she still makes it clear that she's not fully understanding of why I can't get past this. So why continue? It doesn't help either of us. I'm going to try what you said, but not tonight as I already shared my current state with her. Thanks.
-------------------- Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.