Reged: 11/06/07
Posts: 32
Loc: Los Angeles, California
How strange! I'm applying to grad school for my MFA in hopes to become a publishing writer and teach at a University level--not nearly as germy as elementary school you brave girl!--but still lately I've been thinking about being around all those germs and it's been freaking me out. I work from home now, so I'm fairly isolated and have a very controlled environment. Although it's comfortable, I'm sure it's also enabling my anxiety and OCD. I actually became a vegetarian in 5th grade when mad cow disease was rampant and a few years later cut out all meat (in large part of my paranoia). Man the three of us would make quite a dinner party! We could all take turns hyperventilating and over-analyzing our food!
The problem with the whole thing, and this is obvious I'm sure, but it really reduces the quality of life and I certainly don't want to look back at the way I've lived and consider myself a fool. I always think if I end up with some awful disease I'll be like, what a waste, i was an idiot that whole time. Worried about a 24 hour bug or food poisoning--things that go away in a day or 2. A woman who works with my boyfriend has cancer, and there's nothing they can do for her anymore to get rid of it, only give her treatments to prolong her life. Then I look at myself and really feel obnoxious. Still, a few hours or so after my epiphany I'm right back at it again!