Sorry to hear that you're still going through such rough times I completely understand what you are saying about the army, I wouldn't be comfortable with my fiance joining either...I don't know what I would do but I definately think the stress would wreck me (plus I feel the same way you do I think with regards to fighting without knowing why and stuff).
I don't really have any suggestions (I'm sorry) but I'm sending lots of hugs and good thoughts your way. One thing that did come to mind was just that my Dad was telling me that Alberta and Saskatechewan are currently really recruiting for a lot of jobs (mostly for smaller towns though, not the major cities). They are desperate for employees and apparently in some regions paying people who work at a Tim Horton's $12/hour whereas in Ontario you would only make minimum wage. Would you guys be willing to try a different province where maybe he'd have more job prospects?