and I feel the same way. I don't think it's selfish at all. Especially because you are taking into consideration the future of your family as a whole. Concerning the military, I think that there are too many people who want to jump into fighting without knowing why and some of them don't seem to even care why. So I understand where you're coming from on that. Even country needs a method of defense (unfortunately) but whenever possible, violence shouldn't be the method.
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If you're not dead, you've still got time.