Hi there, Thanks for your reply. I feel the same way about following your heart, and I think it is an important question about whether or not I can live without him. I mean, I'm sure I COULD in as much as I wouldn't stop living if he was gone, but I want us to stay together. As far as the army goes, it's not that I don't think it is anyone's business it is just that I worry about offending people. I have a great deal of respect for people who want to protect their own country and families that support them doing so, but I do have my own reservations about it. Without going into it to much, I do have... problems?... with the way things are politically in the world at the moment and I feel like sometimes people are fighting, and they don't even know what for. I don't feel that it is a matter of protecting your own country, as much as getting involved in something that maybe we shouldn't be involved in. More than that, though, I have a problem with living without my spouse for 3 years because he is at Sandhurst and I can only living "nearby" so he can visit on weekends. I have a problem with not wanting to have children, because I won't want to be a single mom for when he is away, or if something terrible should happen. I have a problem with sitting by the phone while he is overseas and wondering if he's okay to the point of making myself sick. I have actually done quite a lot of research on PTSD and a lot of research is done on soldiers who return from war, and it just is too much for me to imagine someone I love so much going through something like that.
I hope that makes sense. I know it sounds selfish to a degree, but it is how I feel and I don't think I can make any apologies for it. There are very few things that I would stop and put my foot down about but this is one of them.. and I never thought it would be an issue.
I really don't want to offend anyone, I hope you can understand where I am coming from.
Cheers! --Steph
-------------------- ~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.