In the army now
04/15/06 11:55 AM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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Hi everyone,
So I just thought I would pop in again and give a little update. Things, as always, are pretty chaotic and getting me down a lot. Things for Adrian in Canada have not gone well over the past year, and I think he is finally ready to call it a day here. He got a letter from the Vancouver Police saying he was "terminated", which means he can never get any policing job in Canada (according to them, I think it might just be Vancouver and they are saying that to seem more important but whatever) which really upset him. Then he got a correction letter saying, "No, sorry, wrong letter, you have been CLOSED, not terminated". Closed means he has to wait 2 years, but can then apply again. He is so tired of working in security and struggling for money month to month whilst working crazy overtime shifts and not having time to do other things. He has found out that even if he goes back to England now, he will have a hard time with work because he has been out of the country so long and for the kind of work he was in (intelligence), they are very strict about security and you must have been in the country for no more than I think 60 days in the past 3 years. So now he has put forward his interest to join the Army. The British Army. I have never wanted to voice too many strong opinions on this board or anything, so I say this just so you guys understand where I am at and not to have anyone agree or disagree with me but I have strong feelings about the army that would mean that I could never be in a relationship with anyone who would voluntarily enlist. It's not just a fundamental problem that I have, but the thought of being an "Army wife" makes me feel like I might throw up. I am nervous person, and that would just ruin me completely. Plus, I would be in England where I would be more seperated than I am here so when I need someone to lean on, it would be him... and where would he be? Well, who knows? Iraq, possibly? No way, no thanks.
So I found this out yesterday, and I couldn't stop crying. My head is just pounding. Every time I think about it, I feel like I might just lose it completely.. my lunch included. I had no idea this was one of his options, but after pressing him about it, it is apparently his serious option now. He said he didn't want to discuss it with me at length when he made the decision because it would be too "distressing" for me. I am kind of in shock at the moment, I just don't know what will happen. I was ready to prepare myself for having to choose between staying in Canada without him, and going with him to England but I was not prepared for this. To make matters more confusing, my parents want to put their house (which we are living in now) up for sale at the end of this month, which is fast approaching. We have been looking like crazy (Well, I have) for a place to live but it is so hard with the dog, being that he is a large dog. Most places that will let us have him, are way out of our price range. Adding to that, if Adrian leaves to join the army and I stay here, I won't be able to stay in a place that we have rented for the 2 of us, so I have that in the back of my mind as well.
I am pretty sure it is all this that made my stomach so bad and I had to post two days ago about being late for work 'cause I couldn't stop tummy attacks.
It seems like whenever I think that things are as stressful as they can get for the moment, and I start to try and figure out how I'll deal with it all, something else comes up and kicks me right in the butt!
My mom has been really hard on me about the whole thing, and I haven't even mentioned this whole new "army" idea. Oy. Oy, oy, oy.
Any feedback, or just hugs would be appreciated.
Cheers! Steph
-------------------- ~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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