Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | So stressed...I feel like my head is going to explode!

I don't understand why I just can't cope with this stress like a normal person, but I just can't. I am freaking out and there isn't even that much going on.

I was supposed to hear Monday about the status of my current disability leave (i.e. whether the letters from my doctors made the insurance company change their mind about sending me back to work)...I didn't hear from them. So every night I try and go to sleep and can't sleep because I'm so stressed out wondering if "tomorrow" will be the day. She calls this morning while I'm trying to sleep and I jumped up to get it hoping for an answer...and all she was calling to say was that "they hadn't decided yet".

I was so annoyed. So because I don't have an answer and they could potentially be cutting me off, I have to go down tomorrow to the ODSP office (Ontario Disability) to begin the application process (I've had the appointment booked for a month but was hoping it wouldn't be necessary because I was hoping the doctors would change the insurance companies position). So of course, I'm not prepared for the appointment.

So Scott and I had to spend the entire day going through paperwork finding the last 12 months of bank statements, credit card and other debt statments, tax statements, rent receipts, birth certificates...everything imaginable and now it all has to be photocopied before my appointment in the afternoon! Right after that I have a meeting with a different insurance provider (switching my car/house insurance to someone with lower rates) and then right after that I have a really important doctor's appointment. And all this with no sleep. I'm actually thinking about taking a Benadryl with my regular sedative tonight to see if that puts me out because I'm so darn exhausted.

So yeah, sorry for the rant but for some reason I'm just not coping. The thought of having to do so much tomorrow and not really knowing what's going on is just freaking me out. I can almost feel my cortisol rising...haven't been able to sleep, have been way hungrier than normal but am not allowing myself to eat because don't want to gain weight, it's just a nightmare.

A normal person could handle something like this right? I feel so pathetic.

Plus to add to things, Scott got what we think is a legitimate job offer Monday, but it was pending a reference check and criminal check and we still haven't heard back. They actually said "You have the job" but their personnel department would have to do all the checks. There is no problem with any of his references and he definately doesn't have a criminal record...do you think I should be freaking that we haven't heard anything? Or does it just take awhile to do these things?

Sorry for going on and on, just feels good to get it out sometimes.

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