Hi. THanks for your time, for listening, and responding to me.
I really am in pickle. Thankfully I have a therapist who is very caring, but still, I have my momenets. Sometime I feel totally sufficent and happy.
Then tonight, my friends are all out and busy. I'm here in my apartment, alone. My roomate is here, ignoring me. Ever since I told him to pay his share on Tuesday, he has been ignoring me.
When I'm with other friends, I'm happy, I don't nee dhim. But when I am alone, I feel very anxious, worried about being all alone, by myself, and in the past, this has made me vulnerable to controlling people who offer me a place to stay, but at a high price.
I do not want to be friends with this person. I do not want to go back to being under his spell, because this has happened before to me, and I have so much anger from it all.
At the same time, I signed a lease. I probably could get out, but it would be hard. If it has to get done, it will.
I think what has to be known is, my family. I am scared to share my social life with my family, for fear of embarassement. They know I have had relationships like this in the past. As of now they feel this kid is great, they have no clue about what goes on.
I am scared to say anything, because I know they will be hurt, mad, and it is shameful. At the same time, they pay for my school, housing, and health. They care about me, and can help.
All I can is my emotions are up and down, sometimes very anxious.
-------------------- IBS-C and Bloating
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