Huge hugs first of all. Second, it is NOT your fault you are sick. Go to the memorial tomorrow and try to sleep the rest of the day off. Have a hot bath and some hot tea tonight. Hopefully, you will sleep well.
If you can get a couple good night's sleep, maybe you will get rid of the fever at least. I would suggest TRYING to go into work at all if you can on Thursday - at least for them to see that you're trying your best, and that you are legitimately sick. With any luck, they'll send you back home.
Isn't it ironic that FLO ALWAYS comes EXACTLY the same time you're sick? Happens to me all the time - it's SO annoying.
About your Grandfather- your Mom and Aunt are stressed and hurting, and they're taking it out on each other. STAY OUT OF IT. Worry about yourself. They're big girls. Let yourself grieve. It's perfectly natural - and it is going to be hard for a while - so just accept it. The grieving process takes time, and you're not going to get over it overnight. It DOES get easier, just be patient.
As for having bad thoughts again, make sure Adrian is aware of them. I believe the Canadian Mental Health Association has a hotline that you can call to talk to someone if you need to.
Sending you lots of healthy Canadian hugs,
Alicia.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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