Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Update: Things are not going well

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to say thank you again for all the kind words of support after I posted about my grandpa's death. It is such a hard thing, and it is not easy even now after a few days.
Things have gone from bad to worse, and I honestly don't know how much more I can take.
My house is of course not the happiest place, and to make matters more uncomfortable my mom and my aunt got into some kind of fight. I missed the actual fight, but apparently my aunt got mad at my mom for being so controlling (which she is, I don't know why my aunt is suprised because she always takes over) and my mom has been freaking out about it and talking a lot about my aunt being mean to her.
I was feeling a little ill, but attributed it to stress and just tried to get lots of fluids and stuff but I guess it was too little too late and I have been super sick for 2 days now. Fever, coughing, headache, ear ache, blocked nose, lost voice... So finally today I went to the doctor, and turns out I have Bronchitis! (Marvelous). So I feel really terrible, and the doctor tells me I can't go to work. Well, I am on compassionate leave right now but am supposed to go in Thursday.. If I call in sick, I may lose my job because I've already had 6.5 sick days since I started and have had a meeting about it.
To make matters WORSE, I also have aunt flo right now so along with my cold, I have major bloating and cramping and some D. Once the antibiotics kick in, I expect the D may get miles worse.. even though the doc changed her mind on which one to prescribe me when I told her my concern so hopefully this one will be more gentle.

So my body is a complete wreck, my family is acting upset with me that I am sick because I'm always sick, I am a nervous wreck about calling in sick to work.. I am thinking about just trying to med myself up and go anyway. Adrian has been alright (he has been great about my grandpa) but everyone has no sympathy for me being so sick so I feel completely alone.
I can't sleep, my whole body is killing me... The memorial is tomorrow, I can't speak at it because I have no voice and am frankly in no emotional state to do so...

Argh!
I am so tired of being sad and in pain All The Time. It is making me crazy. I am starting to have very bad thoughts again and think I should be going back to a counsellor, but I can't afford it at the moment so I will have to explore other options because I am getting so depressed.

Any kind words, happy thoughts, prayers.. anything would be appreciated. I am honestly falling apart, with nobody to help me pick up the pieces.

Steph

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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.

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