Yes, just pick and choose what info you need or want. There's lots of infothat only applies for ENORMOUS and super expensive weddings. lol
Your maid of honour or a bridesmaid is supposed to throw you a party. It can also be done by a family member though! I didn't have a bridal shower and it is a bit of a sore point for me. The two people in my bridal party are my 12 year old nice and Tommy's sister. So neither of them lived in Ottawa. But raelly, my fiends should have thrown one for me. Too late now to whine though!
I wouldn't throw one for yourslef. What you could do is hold a dinner at a restaurant and invite your friends/family and call it your engagement dinner. That isn't tacky.
Yes, people in the wedding party do pay for their own dresses, shoes and whatever else they need for the big day. You can tell them what you think is fair to pay though. I wouldn't go above $200 for a dress.
And yes again, you do buy them gifts to thank them for being in your wedding. These are typically given out at the rehearsal dinner if you have one. Or the day of the wedding. Typically, for women you buy jewellery or soemthing they can actually wear the day of the wedding. But that's not to say that you have to. Another popular option is a gift certificate to have their hair or makeup done, or a facial or massage.
Do you want them to be in the ceremony? You can have them there just as guests (who get to sit up front since they're family). Don't feel like you have to include them if you don't want to.
Ok, I hope I answered all your questions, feel free to ask me more!