I can't express enough how much I feel your pain! It breaks my heart to see you so upset and hurting so much. I wish I could make it all go away for you sweetie!
Please don't blame yourself. I know you know deep in your heart that it's not your fault. I can completely understand though how it's easier to feel like you did something wrong. You want to know why it keeps happening and how you can fix it, and the only thing your mind comes up with is "what did I do wrong".
I can't even imagine going through something like this. I look over at my daughter and start to cry just imagining life without her. I feel so selfish being able to say that I have been so lucky to have someone so beautiful in my life. I am just so sorry Michele.
This may or may not be the appropriate time to ask this question, but it's something that I've been thinking about as I've been typing... I know and understand your desire to be able to conceive and deliver your own baby, but have you considered at all finding a serrogate mother? I would totally do it for you!! I absolutely hated being pregnant, but I would do it to be able to give you your little blessing!
Please know Michele, that you are constantly in my thoughts. I pray that you and Will can make it through this extraordinarily difficult time! I'm here for you!!
Love you sweetie!
-------------------- ~ Rachel (IBS-C)
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!