Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | I think I'm losing my mind...

HEy Guys,

Sorry I haven't been posting much, I've been trying to keep up to date but have got another bloody sinus infection that's travelled into my eyes so being on the computer is a bit of a challenge.

Anyways, I could really use some support. I don't feel comfortable going into much detail, but basically my mental status has deteiorated over the last month or so, and I'm really struggling. Right now is particularily bad...I have an appointment with a psychiatrist regarding my disability leave from work at 10:30am. I ask not to be scheduled for morning appointments because I'm lucky to get to bed before 4:00am, and they've got me on sedatives so it really isn't safe to drive that early for me. Anyways, they scheduled it early anyways.

So, I'm all worked up last night afraid I won't sleep and everything. Finally manage to get to sleep around 3:50am and my cat wakes me up at 6:20am for food (normal). No problem, I figure I'll just go back to sleep. Then my bf (who has barely slept in a few days so I have to give him the benefit of the doubt here) rolls over and says "goodnight crazy" to me

Normally I would assume he was joking but like I said, things have been really bad lately (I can't even go into what they think is wrong with me - I'm too embaressed) so I took it really literal. It caused me to go into an immediate panic attack, and I've been awake ever since.

Now somehow I need to get my act together and I can't stop crying, and I really need to get to this appointment (safely). What's more, I've been selling stuff on ebay in a desperate attempt to make some extra money, and they need to be shipped out today, so I've got the added stress of making sure I get to a post office. I'm crumbling and I don't know what to do. Also, this psychiatrist I'm seeing isn't actually "treating" me (i.e. I can't talk to him for an hour about this) he just meets me for like 15minutes to appease the insurance company that I'm seeing someone (I'm on a wait list that's about a year long for an actual psychiatrist).

You guys are always so supportive, so anything you can offer is welcome

Sorry for the long vent,
Kelly

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