back on the dating scene ....
10/14/05 09:18 AM
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Bit of a personal update for those of you who are interested 
So, my long-time and long-distance bf and I broke up last week, after a long summer of struggling to make things work. It was as amicable as possible, though we were both pretty sad. Nothing terrible happened between us, we kind of just stopped moving forward, and I think to a large extent he just stopped putting any effort into the relationship. So, we said goodbye. It's hard to break up with someone you think you're so good with, but it was just over. If he ever moves back to the states (he lives in London) then I'd be open to trying again, but for now, it's not going to work. I couldn't do the distance any longer without a firm committment, and he couldn't make a firm committment yet, and didn't know when he'd be able to, so that was that.
So, now I'm back in the dating game -- I say "back" but I was never really in it to begin with. ex-bf and I were exclusive for the last two years (my first two in NYC) and were non-exclusive but together for the year before that (my sr year of college). Prior to that I was in a mostly-exclusive relationship for just under two years, and immediately prior to that one, I was with my highschool bf for 3 years. So, I've never been single for very long at all. I don't plan to get into serious relationships -- they just kind of follow me. So, now I'm trying to date a whole bunch of guys at once before settling in again. My dad said no boyfriends for 6 months, because he doesn't want me to make a bad choice on the rebound. I'm only 24 but I am aware that the next serious relationship I end up in could be THE ONE and I don't want to be casual about it.
I went on a date the other night with a guy I met at a Patriot League mixer here in the city a while ago. We really had a great time -- dinner and a couple of bars. I know that we have good chemistry, and the conversation is easy, and there is clearly an attraction. I want to take it slow with him but I'm not sure I know how. We're going out again tonight, to a show. He randomly got theater tix at work and called me this morning to see if I would be up for it, and I am. I really want to have a date with another guy before I go on a third date with this guy. I'm afraid he's going to turn into a boyfriend just becuase we'll date each other a lot and maybe not other people. But I need to be able to go out to bars and be single for a while. I don't know if I should tell him that now or just see how it goes. He also doesn't know that I'm just coming out of a relationship, and I'm not sure if I should tell him.
This is all so confusing but also kind of fun. If anyone has any tips / advice for dating in NYC and how to be casual when deep down all you want is something real, I'm all ears.
Thanks guys.
Panda
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Amanda
I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin
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