Oh, Beth. I'm so sorry you've been suffering so much, for so long. The only thing I can think of to say, is you know that you just have to keep on going. You've got to fight your way to wellness.
You have to keep searching for what will help you. Don't give up. If your present doctor isn't helping you, find another. Don't stop fighting for yourself.
You have no choice, but to keep going and keep trying. You have to get up and make a plan. Figure out your next move; anything that may be a stepping stone to your wellness. Out there somewhere, is your answer.
I'm sorry you don't have any family to help you, but you're not alone in this world. You have a lot of good friends on these boards. You have such big burdens to carry and God must believe you are very strong to be able to handle them.