Of COURSE you miss the overly productive days! I had it for a few hours yesterday and I miss it already...
And you told me I would be better with the meds. And you were RIGHT. I will DIE without them...and from the sound of things you won't be much better than that either *hugs*
I love you BL!!!!!!! It might not be the RIGHT meds...but it sounds like they were doing something. If you REALLY feel that they are not the right ones and you need to switch...go to the ER...do SOMETHING proactive...I am BEGGING you. I can't lose you. I know you say you are in the middle...but I was HIGH yesterday and it left in a FLASH. A SECOND. And I know you understand what I'm talking about.
I wanted to see what my life would be like without meds as well. I didn't know I might be chemically imbalanced. Well, I found out. And it is soooo bad I have wanted to die!