Steph, I'm so sorry everything is such a mess. I know how upset you must be right now. I KNOW that feeling of hopelessness, I know that feeling of thinking life is too hard to go on. I know that feeling of thinking I can't go on without someone.
Steph, please don't be mad at this but maybe Andrian isn't the right person for you. Yes, people get upset and say/do things they don't mean to but this isn't this first time. You deserve someone who is going to support you (not necessarily financially but at least mentally) and love you and want to help you and want to make a life with you. I'm sorry, but from what you have said about Adrian over the last year or so, I don't really see hom doing those things.
Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we can see the light and move on. I've been at the bottom, in an alomst drugged induced coma, staring up at an abusive boyfriend, having NO money, no one to turn to, feeling like death would be a much easier and better solution than anything I could think of. Its not easy and its very scary. But, you CAN change your life. You do have the power if you want to. It might take spending some time alone, sorting out the issues, figuring out who you really are. But, you are a strong person and you can do it! Once you are happier with yourself, it will be much easier for people to be happy with you!
Please do not be offending by my words. I think you are a dear, sweet person and are most definitely have some awful things going on but know you can stand up for yourself and you deserve to be treated better! I hope things work out with Andrian but if not, you can move on and will find someone who makes you even happier! Super Dooper big Hugs!
-------------------- Taking it one day at a time.....
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