Big Hugs for Steph
07/14/05 12:11 AM
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Vicam
Reged: 02/24/04
Posts: 1955
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Oh Steph, I'm so sorry I was so sad when I saw your post...I really wish I could just come over and give you a big hug or something.
Your post sounded so much like me, I couldn't believe it. Seriously, I could have been reading my own words. I have had quite a few fights with my bf that have gone just the same way...I always get extremely emotional and start crying (and yelling) and he always wants to leave. Not leave permanently, but just go for a walk or leave the room or whatever and I never let him. I can't tell you how many times I've been standing in front of a door, trying to get him to stay...and it's not a good situation to be in, because sometimes you can get hurt (and it's usually accidental)
I don't have any really good advice except maybe to try and let him leave when he gets like that...sometimes that's just what people need. My bf knows me really well (we've been together 7 years) and he knows when I get emotional like that nothing's going to be settled until I calm down. That's why he wants to leave. He figures if he goes and cools off for a bit, maybe I will too. I don't know if you're similar to me in that regard, but once I get going I really get going.
I've actually just started seeing a psychiatrist for my anxiety issues, and I believe that the way I act in fights is largely related to that...I just get completely out of control and drive him away.
I sincerely hope you guys can work through this, my bf and I have been able to but it's been tough. I've never admitted this but once when I was blocking the door to the apartment, I was crying so loud that a neighbour came from down the hall and asked if I needed her to call the police I was so embarressed because I didn't need help (at least not from bf), I just needed to calm down.
I'm sure once the dust settles you two will be able to talk things out and hopefully work something out...maybe you can agree to try and give him some space and/or time in fights if that's something he needs?
I'm sorry my suggestions aren't better, I just wanted you to know that I've been there and I understand how you feel. I hope you can calm down and hopefully get some sleep. If there's anything I can do, let me know
Kelly
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