i'm sorry to hear your having a tough time i've been having problems this week too, and i feel you we all have thoughs of guilt....especialy when it comes to motherhood....i was 19 when i had mine, and with a jerk of a guy....so that guilt stays with me all the time, but you can be the worlds best mommy...and still think you suck....just because thats how our minds work! i'm sorry about the ocd...i know that is tough, i don't know first hand, but what i have learned in classes, it's a hard thing to deal with......it's hard when "normal" people around you with "normal" bodies are around you and can't always understand how you feel.....but thats what we are here for!! i've found such great support here, and i hope you have as well!! (((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))) again