and he rather divorce than seperate. He wants a clean slate from me and a part of him is relieved. He will make sure people, including our boys, will know it is me who wants the divorce. He will make sure he looks like the good guy and I'm the bad one.
He talked about dating another woman tonight and how I'll find it weird seeing him with another woman. Shocking to hear him talk this way.
We both were calm while talking and still he decided to hug and kiss me in front of one of our boys. He told me I'll regret it one day and typically single moms suffer more than dads. He wants joint custody, but I want primary custody. He has never shown up for a IEP meeting nor a school conference. I have made all the decisions regarding our boys. This will tough.
Right now I feel very guilty and must be the worse mom for breaking up a home. I knew I was making a mistake when marrying my husband, but I did it anyways. Now we brought three boys into the world and I feel very awful about how divorce will affect them.
Thanks for reading. It is too late to call a friend. Please pray tomorrow I make it through work okay. I hope I don't break down on my job. At least the Psych. Unit is only one floor above me.
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Talk to hubby tonight
