I honestly don't know what to say except that I'm so sorry. I would be wrong to give advice because I cannot relate to what you've been dealing with, but I can say that you seem very committed to your boys and they will benefit from that, no matter what happens. Will be praying that your dh turns around and sees all he's missing. Big hugs!!
-------------------- Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)