The problem is there isn't anything to celebrate. We have been struggling for a few years now and I have no feelings left for him. I hold on for our boys, but I'm miserable.
We have tried a few different couselors, but everytime hubby is told he needs to make changes - he stops going. He is convinced I am the problem and if I changed certain things everything will be better.
As far as I'm concerned it takes two people to create a problem and I have owned my responbility in this mess, but I can't change his behavior. Beginning of last month I told hubby I wanted a seperation in front of our counselor. The counselor agreed this was the best option for us and hubby refused.
I realize hubby won't move out and I know I'm close to having a nervous breakdown. I looked at a couple of duplexes today and will be prepared to move out by August 1rst. I think it is sad to have to uproot our kids from their home, but I have no choice. There is no way I can maintain our current home by myself - the house is too big and is old.
The reality of the situation is my husband will likely file for divorce if I move out. Honestly I won't care - it will be a relief. I feel so guilty.
Thanks for letting me vent. I will be talking hubby tonight and letting him know I am looking at places to live.
Posts
Hubby and I celebrated 14 years yesterday.
