Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
I really agree with you about the tummy problems interfering with sex. BF doesn't push me since he's witnessed an attack and knows it's no walk in the park. Sometimes he doesn't feel like sex either, so we just look at each other and say, "I really don't feel like sex right now" and then we respect each other's boundries when we make out.
But you're right, after about a week it's hard to negotiate your feelings around your tummy when you still don't feel 100%. When this happens to me I always try and remember, "don't start anything you can't finish." There's no reason to torture your mate when you can't close the deal, and communication is so key.
It helps that (brace yourself) I don't share a bed with DBF. We have seperate rooms and keep seperate sleep schedules.
Before you decide this is weird, let me point out that we don't have arguments in the morning when one person wakes the other one up, or one's snoring bothers the other person, or when one steals the sheets in the night, or kicks the other person awake, sleeps with the TV on waking the other, etc. Since we've kept this arangement for the last 5 years or so we've gotten along so much better, avoiding the common problems of the trappings of close cohabitation.
It's so much easier meeting up in the kitchen, kissing each other and giving a hug and asking how the other one slept.
It's amazing how many confrontational situations can be avoided with geography!! Just my 2 cents!