Oh Heather I was hoping things would get better the way it sounded the other day. I'm so sorry. You really have been so strong to do all you've done so far and I think now that the numbness is definitely a normal feeling. In the same situation I know I didn't cry for several days afterwards and then all of a sudden I just couldn't help it. I really wish I could give you a huge hug.
You're being so brave to go by yourself. I will definitely be thinking about you on that long trip. Keep in touch with Rachel or someone so we know that you've made it safely and such. Things will get better. Think of coming back to Kenna's birthday. Love ya and big big hugs!