Corinne, your post reminded me of some of my worst days and I know just how you feel. I also think you must be a Christian from some of the things you posted, and I am one, too, so I will tell you something that has been incredibly encouraging to me this summer concerning my IBS. I was completely overwhelmed, terrified to leave the house, fearful, discouraged, and had "lost heart" in April but decided to spend the summer spending as much time as I could studying passages in scripture about fear, anxiety, the Lord's provision, peace in the midst of trials, yieldedness, and health. I am still studying, since it's still summer, but am beginning to feel encouraged and at peace for the first time in a very long time. If you're interested I can share what passages I have studied this summer. It really helped me to focus on Christ's adequacy for all our needs, and if you are a believer it will be an encouragement to you as well, I'm sure.