Where do I even start? This friend and I have been very close since grade one! Between the two of us we haven't lived in the same city for 12 years but we have stayed in touch
Basically the problem is that she moved to a city that she disliked for school (teacher's college). She thought she'd move back home when she was done. She didn't because she met Andrew. They soon moved in together. A year or more later he proposed and she said yes.
Their wedding was supposed to be this past July and I was going to be a bridesmaid. She ended up postponing the wedding for a few key reasons: a) she hates living in that small town, b) her financee is a couch potato and is super boring and c) she started having an affair with another teacher (male). She didn't tell me until months later.
This affair has been going on for a year now and she knows it's wrong. She is too afraid of losing her financee as she desperately wants kids ASAP. She doesn't think it would work with Bob (the affair guy) but doesn't want to move back to her home town alone. Oh ya, Bob keeps threatening to tell Andrew which is freaking her out.
I have given her every piece of advice that I know! I tell her she can't marry Andrew since she must not love him if she's cheated on him. She can't realistically think it will work out with Bob. To me, she should move back home ALONE and start over with a new man!
But she says she's too scared to do that and as I said, really wants to start a family soon. I tell her she can't do that with either of the men she's involved with. If her kids asked how they met "Well I was engaged to Andrew but met your daddy (Bob) and we started having an affair".
She is thinking that she'll sacrifice her happiness and marry Andrew just to have kids with him. He has a great job and they have a huge, lovely house together, and a dog too. I tell her she'll just be unhappy and might even have another affair. That's just NOT right.
What else can I tell her? Has anyone ever married someone they didn't love only to get divorced later when they had kids???
Any advice would be much appreciated as I almost don't want to hear about this anymore since she still hasn't made a decision and it's A YEAR later.
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Advice needed for close friend of mine
She didn't tell me until months later.
I tell her she can't marry Andrew since she must not love him if she's cheated on him. She can't realistically think it will work out with Bob. To me, she should move back home ALONE and start over with a new man!
