Sorry, Steph. You're having a tough time of it, aren'tcha?
Sleep deprivation does bad things to us. I know, because I haven't been able to sleep ever since I stopped taking my Tylenol PM every night. (I'm trying to wean myself off the stuff.) I agree with you -- YOU NEED YOUR SLEEP!
I'm also sorry the BF isn't more understanding. That doesn't help your situation AT ALL! (If it were me, I'd have to tell him so.)
Now, about the doctor's "diagnosis." Unfortunately, she may be right. I have always had a problem dealing with stress. At one point, I was grinding my teeth in my sleep (my dentist discovered it), and told me it was stress. About that time, when I finally stopped grinding, instead I began feeling a lump in my throat. I couldn't swallow. It scared me because I was afraid I soon wouldn't be able to breathe. My doc sent me to an ENT specialist who put a "telescope" down my throat (that was a lot of fun), and came up with absolutely nothing. He told me stress was causing it. I was in total denial, and told him he was wrong, that I had a lump, I COULD FEEL THE DAMN THING!
Well, it turned out he was right. When I began to relax a little, the so-called lump went away.
I agree with you, Steph, you're NOT "<CENSORED>ING CRAZY" -- you're just under a lot of stress (and/or anxiety). Not getting enough sleep is certainly not helping either. You truly have to find a way to get rid of the stress. What happened with Michael's tapes? I know you started them. If you didn't finish, then maybe you need to consider starting over again. Sometimes they don't help the first time around.
And I'd also have a little chat with the BF.....
Good luck, Bev
-------------------- <img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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