Re: jaime, you really triggered something
09/20/05 03:26 PM
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Wind
Reged: 04/02/05
Posts: 3178
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jaime, you really triggered something with your comment, but in an enlightening way.
i don't live in my body. i dissociate. the only thing that truly grounds me is pain, but i also dissociate--or live outside of myself due to pain, fear, etc.
when i see fat people i am so very sad and angry. the sight of fat people takes my appetite away. i feel claustrophobic in the company of fat people. my mother is overweight and i'm sending her spa meals c/o me, all to no avail. i read an interesting article in McClean's magazine about the neuro-hormonal chemistry of fat/thin people. It's related to dopomine receptors. Thin people are wired differently, or have different neuro-chemical responses.
I consciously don't have a problem with obese people, but obviously I do on another level as being exposed to them makes me feel violently physically ill. Yes, it's a kind of NLP response. Truly kind of Orwellian--no joke. I don't have a fear of being fat--just a feeling of intense physical revulsion around fat people, fat in my foods, and well fatness.
I don't know what to say, except..."just shoot me?"
kate.
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