You don't suck! Baby steps. I'm not going to get into my own history of eating disorders... just trust me on this one.
Last summer, I was actually considering it an accomplishment if I ate 600 calories a day, because that was a vast improvement over the 200/day I had been eating! It took a while, but I was able to work up to about 2000 a day, gained back 20lbs, and am no longer underweight. You can do it too, just don't push yourself, take it slow, and above all, don't beat yourself up! Getting well takes time... and we're here to encourage you every step of the way.
My secret, by the way, was quick breads - banana bread, chocolate-applesauce bread, etc. The recipes here on this site are not only safe, but they're SO good, it's literally almost impossible to keep yourself from snacking on them. This is a good thing when you're trying to gain.
Anyway, good luck... and hope you'll keep coming back!
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