The difference is that for IBS, there's more to dairy that's a trigger than just the lactose. I think for a lot of people, it's the milk proteins that will trigger... and in those cases, Lactaid or something similar isn't going to do a thing for you. The only way to avoid it, unfortunately, is to not eat dairy, at all, period.
I've been in those kinds of social situations, and no, it isn't fun.  I don't have any good advice, really, except that I always ate a little something before I went, just in case, and then kept crackers or something safe in the car in case I was absolutely ravenous when the party was over. There's no way I'd risk an attack by eating something unsafe.
I guess I was always lucky - it always seemed like there was at least one other person at all the weddings and parties I went to who just wouldn't/couldn't eat what was being served (like the time I went to a wedding with a vegetarian reception... but since everything had cheese in it, the lone vegan guest and myself were outta luck!), so at least I had someone to commiserate with. Food allergies and intolerances are so common now that I hardly ever feel like an oddball anymore if I'm not eating.
Anyway, I'm rambling. LOL! I hope that first part kind of explains the difference between lactose intolerance and why dairy should be avoided for IBSers. 
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Re: Lactose pills
