First of all, give yourself a pat on the back for everything you have done so far. It looks like you've taken some really big steps lately. Admitting feelings is rarely easy. I can so relate to how you are feeling now - I was there last October. I had the frustration, anxiety, low self esteem, fear, etc. - everything you mentioned. I finally had to bite the bullet and talk to my Doctor. I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I'm not saying that that's what you have - I'm just sharing my experience. I was terrified to leave the house and my anxiety level went through the roof. I couldn't function any more. You're in a tough situation, kiddo. You're away from your family, you're about to graduate (enough to make anyone feel a bit strange), you're in a different state, and you're dealing with some heavy duty personal issues. The important thing is that you're seeking help. The counselor thing can be strange, but if you find the right one, I'm sure it will be helpful. Don't be ashamed of how you feel. Did you know that 20% of the population has at least 1 bout of depression in their lifetime? And that's what is recorded - most people will tell you that they have his a rough spot in their life. You'll get through this. Take one day at a time, and celebrate even small triumphs. It's the little things that count in this life. Take care, sweetie. Sending lots of big hugs for you. Hope my ramblings make sense.
-------------------- Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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