I have no idea how you folks do it (venting, long)
06/11/04 06:20 AM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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I'm sorry if this gets long and rambly... it's been a miserable couple of days health-wise. Please tell me this gets easier and better with time? *sighs*
Like I've mentioned in a couple other posts, my IBS swung to C when I gave up caffeine. I was starting to be in pain and really worried about it. Wednesday came along, and it was wicked hot here, and between that and the C, I seriously couldn't eat. I tried, I really did, but.. ugh.
Yesterday, I finally managed to go (yay!). But within a half hour, I started feeling absolutely horrible - weak, nauseated, and crampy. Definitely not a bug, but I couldn't eat all day. I tried, but only managed to get down about a half-slice of bread. I did drink peppermint tea, but it did nothing to soothe the cramping (or me!). So I spent most of the day just sipping on water.
I woke up this morning and - big surprise here (sarcasm) - I have D. And I'm so shaky, I can hardly walk from here to the bathroom. I KNOW it's because I haven't eaten or had anything but water (the last time I had a no-food day was pre-IBS-diet, and I would at least sip on soda for sugar and avoid the shakiness), and I just choked down some cream of rice cereal. But the damage is already done... after following the IBS diet for a couple weeks and starting to feel just the tiniest bit better, I'm back to square one.
HOW on earth do you guys manage to eat anything when you're having an IBS problem? I mean, the LAST thing I want to do when I'm running back and forth with D - or stopped up for days with C - is EAT MORE. What should I do when I get like this? I literally can't even force myself to eat sometimes - should I try to at least take a SFS? (Edit: I do take Citrucel every day... what I mean is, take a SFS in lieu of eating, if I feel like I can't eat.)
My boyfriend's not awake yet, thank goodness, because I'm sitting here crying. I'm so miserable - not even so much because of the symptoms themselves, but because I can't even LIVE anymore. I've spent the past 2 days in bed because I felt too lousy to do anything, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to do the same today. I tried to do *laundry* yesterday, fergodsakes, and the cramping only let me do 2 loads before I was exhausted and had to lay back down. I feel like such a failure as a person - the boyfriend reassures me that I'm not, but he obviously can't change the way I feel about myself right now.
Making matters worse, I can't just GO to a doctor. I don't have insurance, and we're quite poor, but somehow not poor enough that I qualify for any kind of government assistance. (Gotta love that.) There are also no clinics in town that can help me. I feel like I've exhausted my possibilities here, unless someone can suggest something I haven't thought of. In the meantime, I'm trying to rely on the diet to get/keep me at least somewhat stable, so that I can maybe try to work again. It seemed like it was working, too, until the past couple days - and I feel like that's all my fault.
Ugh - I really am a mess today. I'm sorry this is so long and whiny, it's really just been an awful couple of days, and now it's the weekend for us, and the prospect of spending it in bed is just making me twice as miserable.
PS - The cereal helped, at least - I'm not as shaky. Yay!
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