Hi Pat,
So sorry about your mom. You know, you and I have a lot in common. My mother-in-law, who I loved dearly, suffered from Altzheimer's too. She was my best friend. We used to love to sew together, and we'd sew for people. She did beautiful hand work; you could never see the stitches. I'd do the machine work, then pass it on to her to do the hand work while I worked on another project. One day I gave the piece to her to do the hand work, and while I was sewing something else, I noticed she was just staring at the work. I said, "come on, pick it up!" She said she didn't know what she was supposed to do with it. It was the beginning of the end, and I didn't realize it. She lived for 15 more years, until her subconscious mind forgot how to digest food -- including the IV at the hospital -- and she starved. That was 13 years ago.
You're going through a real tough time right now, I KNOW! By the way, you're only 4 months older than I! I'll be 60 in November.
You need to find an outlet for the stress. I hope you're exercising; it's a fabulous stress-reliever, really the only one I know. I worked 42 years with intense stress -- I'm retired now -- so I understand what that's like. You also need to check out the hypnotherapy program; it truly did wonders for me.
By the way, I used to be a word processor and am (unfortunately) very aware of all typos. You did an excellent job for someone with eye problems, Girlfriend! I couldn't find even one typo!
While I still have my eyesight, I'm a total computer idiot. If it wasn't for Shell and Mags, I'd be lost on this damn thing! I'm beginning to think I'm too old to learn, you know?
If I were you, I'd give some thought to switching from Benefiber to Heather's acacia. I really love that stuff, MUCH better than Fibercon or Citrucel -- but everyone's different, and there are others here who really like Citrucel. The acacia dissolves well for me if I use it like Heather recommends, e.g., dissolving it first in cold water, THEN heating it up. Dissolving it in boiling water is much more difficult, for some reason. I haven't tried sprinkling it on my food, but that's another option. Check it out, Pat.
When Marie no longer knew me or my husband, it was VERY difficult on us. I couldn't visit her in the home; it was more than I could handle. I'm ashamed to say, hubby had to go on his own. Pat, I am SOOOO ashamed of myself -- it upsets me more than I can say -- how I could not have been there for my husband, to help him through this with his mom, my best friend. It wasn't she who was in pain, it was he. He handled it like a champ, but he totally lost his religion over it. He couldn't understand how his God could put such a loving woman through such a slow death; he thought his God was a loving, forgiving God, how could he do this to her. He never got his religion back and never talks about it to this day. I just hope he can forgive me.
Don't forget that outlet thing, Pat. Find a place where you can go by yourself, for quiet and meditation, some place of your own. If you can take Michael with you, all the better. He helped me immensely; he can help you too.
God bless,
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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For My Friend Pat
