I'm sorry you've been suffering and I sincerely hope that things start to improve for you soon.
I too retreat and withdraw when things get too bad. Strangely, if I'm in terrible pain, I can't stand to have others around me, no matter how kind or helpful they may be - I have to deal with it alone. Not sure why - perhaps that's a weakness on my part, or maybe just the way I deal with things, like retreat to draw on my inner reserves.
Anyway, I'm pleased to see your beautiful smiling face back with us. Shells