it's not really possible to get enough iron, calcium, magnesium on an IBS-FODMAP friendly diet. Zinc is also problematic as are some B vitamins.
Mg: I've had a really traumatic experience with magnesium citrate but I now take a chelated magnesium, which seems fine. Diet-wise, the main safe source of magnesium is porridge but noone will really eat enough porridge to get the amounts recommended by the USDA, so magnesium still needs to be supplemented.
Ca: Soya milk if you can drink it is usually calcium fortified Otherwise I am not sure what other sources there are apart from supplementation. Fortunately for me, the generic one (Ca with Vit D) from Sainsbury's is cheap and unproblematic. I take two with Mg with the last meal of the day.
Fe: Iron from non-heme (non-meat) sources is not as readily absorbable as from red meat. The iron in spinach is not easily accessible either. Phytates in oatmeal bind with zinc and iron (but not calcium and magnesium despite popular belief, see link below), so your only safe source of iron and zinc can be shrimp. Again, it's difficult to get enough though, even then, so you should supplement ideally. I have had to experiment and have suffered a bit from iron and zinc supplements esp over the counter types from the pharmacy (from iron I'd usually throw up ). But Sainsbury's own cheap brand seems fine for both.
It's also important not to take calcium, iron and zinc together as they compete for absorption. The last two are better absorbed alongside Vit C. I never understood why anyone recommended taking a generic multi-vitamin when it's much more sensible to spread out vitamins and take them alone/with food that facilitate their absorption. No vitamin/mineral supplement is cheap so why waste money on a multi-vitamin and still not get enough iron/zinc/calcium as multi-vitamins have all of them in one pill?
Apart from these I recommend taking a B vitamin complex. I take that with additional Vit D and an omega3 capsule in the morning. I take iron with a meal containing vit C (that has no oats/grains, but rather just protein/fruit/potatoes), same goes for zinc. Remember that for these phytates (generally present in grains) are the enemy. I take the calcium and magnesium in the evening.
I am stable but have never been able to eat red meat or dairy again. You may be more lucky. Hope this helps.
link: http://jn.nutrition.org/content/133/9/2973S.full
-------------------- now: stable through EFI+FODMAP dieting (no lactose/no fructose/some fructans and some polyols)
before: IBS-D(pseudo-diarrhoea), bloating, often unbearable pain esp from too much fat: Apr 2007- Dec 2010
FODMAPs: http://www.todaysdietitian.com/newarchives/072710p30.shtml
[I've tried VSL#3 -> I could tolerate v good amounts of IF (even with less SF), it worked great (but overall I find it too expensive)]
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