Your post is so true~ I have written similar comments over the years - almost the same things.
I have had IBS since 1983 - and I have heard it all - part of the time I would 'grin and take it" and another part of the time I would miss out on so much of life. My IBS started just after I had my first child, and no one understood the pain I was in, and I was considered an inconvenience when I made everyone late, or had to cancel.
Sometimes I lied about my condition; other times I told people, and like you, it was dismissed as nothing serious - and of course, it isnt "serious" like cancer where you can die from it, but my gastro once told me he could treat or at least reduce his cancer patients' pain better than his IBS patients pain.
Part of us feels guilty for having a condition that isnt serious, but at the same time feeling just as ill - and because IBS isnt classed as fatal, we do not get the understanding and compassion another person would with a different illness - and while we understand that, it doesnt make our suffering any easier - it just makes it worse, because we dont get that understanding.
Over the years, I have written similar articles about this very thing - putting on the brave face just adds to the stress of the condition - keeping yourself rigid and hidden in pain - believe me, I know, I have been there.
And I have heard all the comments too - you just have IBS to get attention; you should eat this or that (I no longer am on any IBS diet), you are bringing it on yourself, and more. But at one point, it was just too tiring to keep up the facade, so I began telling people, I didnt care about the embarrassment, and I just wanted to let people know why I couldnt keep up, etc. If they did not understand, or they were not compassionate, it was their problem - but I did discover something out of sharing - many times the person I was telling either knew someone who had IBS - or they had it! (Not so much people close to me, but others.)
And to add to the humiliation - all the movies that make a joke out of IBS - yes, sometimes I will giggle along with everyone else, but a part of me twinges in complete understanding, while everyone is laughing... (think, Sandra Bullock being carried off by Hugh Grant to the van in the traffic jam after she eats Mexican in Two Weeks Notice, Dumb and Dumber, Ben Stiller having IBS in that movie with Jennifer Aniston - forgot the name of the movie -oh yeah, Along Came Polly - everyone laughs at bathroom trouble - especially when it only happens 'now and then' - they cant imagine living with it on a daily basis.
If you every want to explain IBS to people who just dont get it, there is a great recording available that does just that - takes the burden off of you, and I have even heard that with one fellow who could not make a family wedding far away, had the whole family mad at him, so he gave them copies of the recording and every single family member apologized for giving him grief.
Dont worry - you are not alone... sometimes it is good to vent!! 
--------------------
My Journey and Success with the IBS Audio Program Hypnotherapy Program: www.helpforibs.com/messageboards/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=hypnotherapy&Number=224850
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Posts
Re: Can anyone relate to keepin up a normal facade out in the world?
