Here's my thought on this. When the bowels are already irritated - I mean when you're 'unstable' and having attacks - it's possible to get to the point where any peristalsis causes more or worse spasms to occur. Yes, that means that every time you go, you experience spasms - which is what it sounds like you're talking about. (It also sounds to me like a lot of people, maybe most, don't ever get to this point, but I've certainly witnessed that it can happen and those w/the most severe situations will know what you/I mean.) I haven't heard of any way out of that cyclic, self-perpetuating thing besides, well, all the stuff you already know if you've read the books and the site: De-stress as much as possible and simplify the task that you're asking the bowels to accomplish. Hope you feel better very soon.
Oh, one more thing. If you are to the point where it's not possible to feel un-stressed thanks to the pain, the anticipation of more/worse pain, etc., (and I'm not sure how you could NOT be at that point, all things considered! but maybe I'm a wimp!) I'd really recommend the hypno CDs.
kem (daughter w/ibs-d)
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