I'm sorry this past year has been so hard on you! I'm still trying to figure out a lot of things myself, but I do have one suggestion for you.
I noticed too that my IBS symptoms seemed to really get worse around my menstrual cycle - not to mention my moods! I've been on BC pills for many years now. My GYNO proposed that I switch to 4 periods a year, instead of one every month. That way, I am at least experiencing my menstrual cycle less often. To do this, I just had to keep taking my active pills (instead of the inert ones on the 4th week) for 12 weeks straight, then stop for a week. That's when your period comes.
First of all, it's awesome being free of my cycle, regardless of my IBS symptoms. But it's even more fantastic because my moods and my symptoms are more stable in general. I don't have that 10 days or so before my cycle where I feel so sick and crazy that I'm jumping out of my skin. (not to say that my IBS is necessarily stable, but it really did feel worse that time of the month)
I will tell you there was an adjustment to this new way of doing things. The first time my cycle was suppose to come but I kept taking the pills, I had about a week or so where I was pretty crazed. My body was doing it's usual thing in preparation, so I had the normal symptoms. In fact, it felt amplified. I cried over everything, I was depressed, my gut felt bad. But now, after nine weeks, it's like a huge relief to escape that impending time every single month.
I'm not sure if this would work for you, but it may be something to consider. If so, I recommend talking to your doctor about it.
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