This is a little graphic, but I guess we tell things on here you don't tell your best frined... I have both internal and external hemorroids and that along with constipation = pretty much what you described. I'm not good a remembering dates, but if you search through the archives, you'll find 2 things - one within the last 2 weeks: Fancymom and someone discussing colon massage - that works! Also, someone told me to use a big glob of vaseline and massage the anal area and to put some in your rectum prior to a BM. (I said this was graphic!). It helps as well. Like you described, I can't take stool softeners - they make me cramp. Hope this helps - which I could tell you the specific posts... but check it out.
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Re: This is nuts
I have both internal and external hemorroids and that along with constipation = pretty much what you described. I'm not good a remembering dates, but if you search through the archives, you'll find 2 things - one within the last 2 weeks: Fancymom and someone discussing colon massage - that works! Also, someone told me to use a big glob of vaseline and massage the anal area and to put some in your rectum prior to a BM. (I said this was graphic!). It helps as well. Like you described, I can't take stool softeners - they make me cramp. Hope this helps - which I could tell you the specific posts... 
but check it out.
