Well...
Initially, to stabilize, I had to refrain from eating all the fruit you describe. Unfortunately that was the case, but it helped me stabilize quicker.
Now that i am stable, I can eat one orange or half a grapefruit but AFTER a meal (so... not as a snack), I haven't tried larger quantities.
For snacks, the fruits that are IBS friendly I use are bananas and peeled apples (until you stabilize, peeled, after that try unpeeled, you might tolerate them).
Jam, well, depends on how much you use. Strawberies are generally an IF fruit and if the jam has a high strawbery density (yum), you should eat small amounts, keeping in mind it's IF. Most people eat small amounts of jam, but I've seen my brother going at it with the spoon so I'm ponting that out.
HFCS is a problem generally just for fructose intollerant people. Syl, the science guru here, has cited numerous articles pointing out that if you have IBS, your probability of being fructose intollerant is higher (than if you did not have IBS). Unfortunately, I don't remember the numbers any more, but you might be able to find the posts on this board.
So, if you think Fructose might be a problem, avoid HFCS (might be called glucose-fructose syrup in Europe) and honey You will notice that avoiding HFCS is a pain in the ass though, because it is contained even in ketchup!
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