Well, first, an early welcome to New York! One good thing about your trip is that it's very easy to eat safely for IBS in NYC - I think there's an old restaurant thread that you could search for. And with a Starbucks on almost every corner, a free bathroom's never too far away. It's a great city, and I hope you have a fantastic time.
As for IBS, if there's any way to address the stress you have about travel, I'd do that. Make the flight as easy as possible - bring music, magazines, books, or anything that helps distract you from the flight and calm you down. Eat very safely for the few days leading up, and bring everything you could need - fiber, safe snacks, medicine (immodium, etc.). Knowing that you're prepared might help with the stress. And keep in mind that there's always a lavatory on the plane - you're never really trapped, at least in terms of IBS. I sometimes have trouble with claustrophobia, and I find that visualizations - imagining myself in a large, cool, open space - really helps.
I'm a control freak, too, and I find that in situations like this, planning as much as possible really helps - I know I've done everything I can, and that I'm prepared for almost anything that happens. Good luck, and enjoy the trip!
-------------------- jaime
ibs-a (mostly d) // vegetarian
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