Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Re: How do you all emotionally cope?

Hi. Really good question. I have had IBS since I was fifteen and now I am almost 26. Lately it is getting much more on top of me then it ever did. It is causing psychological damage to me and its like a constant fight to remain that spontaneous, happy, carefree girl I know I was born to be, if this IBS wasn't here. I think a few things make it harder to deal with - the feeling of lack of bodily control and the unpredictability of it is huge. I always said, if I KNEW from 8am to 10am every day I would be in pain and with D or C or whatever, I could revolve my life around it accordingly. But the whole 'one minute I feel ok and the next awful' is soooo hard to take. Thinking about others worse off then me really helps. I have a list on my cellphones notebook that gets me focused. I've also started keeping a diary on the toilet when I am able to write and that helps me process my feelings.
The emotional support and compassion of people that are meant to love us is also vital. I have three brothers. One is and always has been completely insensitive and arrogant about his ignorant opinions on IBS. It was a source of tension between us for a long while, now I guess it still is inside me, but I try not to let it effect our relationship. My other brother and his wife are sometimes caring in words ie how are you feeling - but their actions are not. They are also not the most compassionate helpful people. Too wrapped up in their own analysis of what THEY think is wrong with me without actually ever googling IBS or even trusting my own description of what happens. I am also, of course, the local hypochondriac. I have started to relax about them lately though and not let them bother me, I have realised I should pity them and their lack of compassion. Their lack of ability to just give me a hug and say 'this must be so hard for you'. I KNOW if the situation was reversed, I would be there for them. Even when they have colds I help. My little brother is the only one I trust to bawl my eyes out on and to know that he is there for me.
On the other hand, my best friends and my in laws and my parents (especially lately) are incredibly supportive. My husband is unbelievable. They carry me through all of this.
Its sooo important to surround yourself with the people that will help you, understand you, BELIEVE you, not BELITTLE you. It really lifts the spirits.
What has brought my spirit down in this last year is the whole 'I've tried every diet etc and its not going away' feeling. Loss of hope. But it IS a day to day thing. And I've stopped fighting the tears and suppressing the frustration. I put a brave face on a lot of the time (hubby says I am the BEST at hiding nausea at social events!) but I let myself have a good moan and cry every so often, I think I deserve it.
Its hard to explain to people the deep set emotional and spiritual stress of dealing with a disease like IBS. This board has been an ABSOLUTE LIFESAVER.I wish I would have had it in my first 9 years.
Good luck

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Feel the fear and do it anyway!

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