Re: Trying to eat dinner...
06/05/05 08:00 PM
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Tinkerbelle
Reged: 04/17/05
Posts: 231
Loc: Los Angeles, CA
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Wind we are so much alike! I totally think that volumptious pin-up women are the hottest type of women, and I'm usually a fairly rounder petite woman (big boobs and a little belly normally), but now I look like a stick with boobs! I'm 5'2 and around 90 lbs right now, usually 105-110. It's so frustrating because when I look in the mirror I think I look so ugly, like some anorexic soap opera actress, and it makes me hate myself more. It's horribly sad but right now I really don't like myself, because I feel so depressed and like I'm letting my body and mind get the best of me- which makes me feel so weak. I'm usually confident and outgoing and fairly high energy, so you can imagine this weak little waif feels so alien when I see her in the mirror... In any case, yeah it's crazy when just eating 1000 calories makes you feel so full! I get really motivated sometimes by people telling me to just eat a lot, and I start pigging out, which a few days later I poop out and then am back to square one. This poor tummy is sure getting a workout these days! Yeah I adore baked goods, but they make me feel terribly. Growing up I always ate pizza, crossants, fried chicken, choc chip cookies, etc... but at a certain age they started to make me feel so gross, so I cut them out and started eating healthy. But food has NEVER made me feel really good. I just wonder what food allergies I have and am unaware of. I just found out that IBS runs in BOTH sides of my Jewish family! Of corse I would get it then! But my dad and bro are so lucky, they don't have it at all. My mom, grandma and I sure do! People on this board seem to say that D is easier to control than C... I wonder if that's true? It seems that most people that use this board have more severe cases of IBS, as the ones who have probably found relief probably don't come back much to post on these boards. I really hope I find relief soon! And I'm glad to hear that you don't let it get you down as often as you used to, that's very hopeful. I guess you just get used to things like this after awhile... you'd have to, or else live your life totally miserable. This is all so new for me so I just feel like a little baby who wants to cry until it goes away. It's horrible because everyone who loves me wants to help so badly, but they cannot. It must feel so sad for them to see me like this, crying so much. I don't want anyone to see me, however, being alone makes it worse. Depression is crazy, it's never never hit me like this before.
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