1. Re: Fats/avos. I only get about 10-12g of fat per day without adding a drop of fat. The fat in my food is only what exists naturally in the fruit, vegetable or grain. I used to eat a little avo for a little fat, but my system went haywire. I've had really bad IBS-D since my early twenties, but IBS berfore that. Honestly, a tsp. or two of nut/seed butter would have me hugging the toilet all day long. Fat just runs through me. However that is me. The fat in not-milks is too high. So, I just do not add fat and my IBS is personally a billion times better. I love avos., and occasionally I do have a little but they are just too rich for my system.
2. Trust me, I understand your fear re: continuing weight loss. I have the same problem. I basically I eat, nibble graze all day long. ("Eat like a hobbit?!!!" to bum a quote from Retrograde).
3. I weigh 113 lbs. and am 5'6" in height. I should weigh a tad more. Sometimes my weight does drop lower and that's when I up my liquid calorie intake or add a smoothie or too or some raw soluable juice or just extra calories. Not necessarily protein, but just calories--not fats. Basically I just EAT and never let myself go empty. This is embarrassing, but sometimes when I get too thin (usually if I drop less than 107, I actually wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning and need a few crackers to tide me over until morning! No joke.) I think this is just a natural famine mode survival mechanism kicking in, though. Can you add a smoothie or two? Some sort of yummy safe dessert or snack? An extra half sandwich? Seriously, with anxiety and stress and ocd and just being me, I get FULL or satiated so fast!
3. The pain is the worst part of it, though. That and the isolation. My heart goes out to you, Tinkerbelle.
4. It still gets me down, but I don't let it get the better or the best of me. I just shift my focus unless the pain is unbearable. MEDITATION, music, creative visualization, Buspar, the diet and just knowing that each day is new helps. Yoga helps ground and release energy.
5. I still have lots of days like you did, today. Especially now that its summer (heat is a trigger for me, a stressor). They're just more managable and less of a hassle/interference. My worst problem or habit is my social phobia. I have major grocery store/shopping paranoia/anxiety of late. Food shopping. YIKES. I just go blank. Do you ever just go blank or walk through a grocery store or food place and just feel ill, etc.?
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