Thank you everyone who replied, I really had not ever met anyone before who had the lucky combo of anxiety and IBS! I have tried everything I can so far without taking medication (except for hypnosis), including yoga (which I do at home about 5x a week), Heather's fantastic diet (which is helping dramatically so far, unless I have to go to an appointment, and then I instantly get non-stop d, which makes me really think the brain is to blame here), breathing exercises, and meditation and positive thinking. I have a therapist whom I do phone appointments with who pretty much believes that at this point what is happening with my anxiety is so biologically based (both parents and aunts on both side suffer from it as well) that it's out of my control and I should go on meds. I was hoping to read here that they have been helpful in controlling the IBS, and it seems like there is hope.
Best of luck to both you who are trying to get pregnant- keep trying, it took me several months.
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