First of all because I've struggled with eating disorders, and second because I went through the same thing - I had bad D, I wouldn't eat, I dropped a ton of weight, and it took quite a while to get used to eating again.
My best advice is to take it slow. You're right - eating smaller amounts more often is the most beneficial, from the standpoint of IBS and also general health, plus it's easier and not as traumatic to a stomach that's not used to food! You can even start by splitting your current meals off a little bit, so you're eating the same amount, just less at a time. Then you can slowly work on adding more food to that.
Your food choices can make a huge difference, too. Try adding in some higher-calorie (and good-fats, too) foods like Heather's banana bread. It's great for snacking, and it's totally safe, just don't overdo it at first. Potatoes are a good thing to branch off into as well - they're pure SF, high in calories, and so easy to eat a good amount of. 
Another word of advice: no ghee. Ghee is butter, butter is dairy, dairy is a no-no, even in small amounts. Some of the continuing discomfort might be linked to that as well.
One last thought, from someone who's been there... please please *please* address the anxiety/depression issues before they get any worse. I suffered with anxiety problems for 10 years longer than I honestly should have, and dealing with those (and getting treatment) has been a HUGE help for my IBS... and believe it or not, it really helped me start eating normally again, too.
Good luck!
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I can relate to this...
